Long over due update

In September we decided it would be best for us to change agencies so....we did. Our case was closed with our old agency on 9/20 and then we quickly started the process to get re-licensed. We completed a few agency specific classes, did our FBI finger prints again and filled out the paperwork. The bright side was that we didn't have to do PRIDE again :).

We had our first home study visit on 11/8, our second HS visit on 11/10 and hopefully our final one will be this Friday 11/18.

 The total hours spent with the contractor so far is 5.5 hours....but thankfully she has made us feel SO comfortable to talk to. We have had the BEST experience with this agency so far so regardless the outcome, we know we made the right decision.

The big differences between before and now is that we have a lot more standards to follow since we are getting licensed to Foster to Adopt but the advantage to that is that we will have many more opportunities coming our way.

On another note...I was recommended a book by a friend entitled "The Kid" by Dan Savage. I've read the reviews and it sounds like something I'd become obsessed about!  I must put this on my "books to read" list!

Rough Week

We attended a match meeting this week......which didn't have not one possible match for us.

It gets kind of frustrating. The whole process is frustrating. I would consider myself a people person and someone who is easy to talk to. But everytime I attend one of these events I feel very guarded. I have no idea why! People always tell me I need to "sell" myself so I stand out so the other caseworkers remember me. I think that is just SUCH a crazy thing to do in this situation. I see other people do it.....and I just can't.

I don't ever think it will get easier and I am okay with that. Okay as in.....I get it. But it doesn't mean it will be any easier. It's an emotional roller coaster. And it won't ever stop being that until our adoption is final.

I LIVE for that day.

Inquiry update: we have been rejected on every inquiry I blogged about. As of right now we have no pending inquiries.

This week I did some email networking and sent a family profile I made to the caseworkers I had contact info on. It's a page long summary with a bunch of pictures of everyone in our immediate family. I did get one response....."you have a beautiful family!".

It was a bandaid to my heart :)

I think this post is different from all my others.  I typically don't try to get in to all the emotional details on the blog but....that's what it's for right????  I just wanna be sad when I wanna be sad.  Be pissed when I wanna be pissed.....and be happy when I can be happy.  Fact is....I'm trying to adopt.  So....I'm allowed to be able to feel different emotions and not feel bad about it.  Right now:  my mood is - going with the flow :).

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Not selected

We weren't selected for the legal risk placement and we also weren't selected for a girl we inquired about last month.

I was looking over old emails and we still have a few inquiries that we have not received updates on.

We're attending our 3rd match meeting on the 31st of this month.

Oh! And we are doing respite care for A and P from July 22nd through the 30th :) - I wish I could just keep them as my own. :-/

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First Legal Risk Broadcast

So we received our first broadcast today!! 2 yr old "J". From the information I received I can see he had a hard first couple of years. But he seems to be improving in several areas. :) I'm kinda excited about this one. He has a court date set in the 4th quarter. The goal of cps is to have the parental rights terminated since the family has had no visitation. Fingers crossed!

Today we confirmed with the respite coordinator that we will look after "A" and "P" for a whole week in July. I can't wait to see them again!! I hope they remember me :-/

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License has officially changed to Legal Risk!!!!

'Nuff said :-P

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More paperwork

Well.....we finally heard back. Our cw's supervisor gave her preliminary approval for the license change; pending some paperwork we need to sign. Everything was scanned over to them just now and she has confirmed that it was received. Now we wait (again) for the supervisors signature.

If anyone ever tells me to "be patient" - I may slap them :-D

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tick tock....

No license change yet

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Blahhh

Well I was going to update a complaint and be all sour puss about why I'm frustrated today.....BUT instead I will patiently email my cw and find out when our license will be changed. I also won't mention here that I was told it would be changed last Thursday or this past Monday. And I WON'T point out that it is now Wednesday. The End.

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A - age 5

Our CW contacted me today to tell me that a different CW reached out to her and said that 2 of her families were potential matches for A.  I received some of the information on him but I have some questions that I'd like answers to before we move forward.  We had actually inquired on an "A" age 5 back in January.....I wonder if it's the same one???

UPDATE:  I ended up asking my cw if it happened to be the same A that we inquired on and it turned out it was!  So we actually got our first MAYBE from a child's worker!!  Even though it's a maybe.....it's a big difference than hearing NO responses at all.  :)

Match Meeting on 5/26

My caseworker notified us today that their local adoption prep team will be having their own match meeting.  That team has asked the CW's to submit home studies, then they will go through each home study and match them with a child in their unit.  If we get matched, they will let my cw know and she will then show us the child's profile and see if it's a good fit. 

It sounds like a really effective way to match children and adoptive parents within their own region.  The actual date of the meeting is on 5/26 - if we are chosen as a potential parent, we will be able to meet and visit with the child(ren) on that day.  SO different on how the usual match meetings are, but I'm kinda excited to see if we are a match for anyone.

Inquiry - 3yr old "T"

We received a broadcast on "T".  Not sure what area of Texas the broadcast is coming from since it didn't indicate it on the information I got.  I decided I wanted to update whenever we inquire on a child(ren).  I wish I would have started doing that since the beginning.....oh well.....we start today! :)

License Change Saga

Got an email from our caseworker saying that they will be able to start working on our update tomorrow.  If they don't need to do references again, it may even be complete tomorrow and CW will be able to turn it in to the supervisor for approval.  Wondering how long that will take......I'm thinkin.....we'll FINALLY have our license changed in the month of May!
UPDATE:  Late in the afternoon I got another email stating that our CW had completed our family summary and had submitted it to their supervisor.  THAT happened a lot faster than I thought it would.  Here's to hoping that the final approval will happen just as fast! :)

The Aftermath of Respite Care.....

We picked up the kids on Friday 3/25 from daycare.  They were crying a little bit but as soon as I got them in to the car, I started talking to them to soothe their emotions.  I explained what was happening and that we were going to have a fun fun weekend.  We would go to the park, watch movies and play with toys.  They didn't cry at all for the rest of the drive home. 

The 1st night was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be.  I started on dinner, gave them baths, fed the baby, changed the baby, my sister n law came over to help me take take the baby a bath as well.  They were great listeners and they were in bed and asleep around 10pm.  I definitely felt like I was in 10,000 places at once but once it was quiet time I was able to relax......A LITTLE. 

We were told that the baby slept through the night.....well.....she doesn't.  It probably was because she was with new people, new environment, new schedule, etc.  She woke up twice the first night. 

Saturday morning the baby woke up around 6am and the other kids woke up around 7.  I made breakfast and tried to clean here and there.  I have never had my house so messy!  But I know it is definitely something I need to get used to.  The kids played all morning with the different toys we had then they started watching a movie in "their room" and fell asleep for a nap around 11:30.  They slept for a couple of hours and the nice thing about Saturday was that the kids and the baby were on the same schedule.  So I was able to rest while they were asleep.  After getting myself showered and ready, I then woke them up and explained the plans for the rest of the day to them.  I explained to them that my mom and other family would be coming over to go to the beach with us.  I showed them pictures so that they wouldn't be so shocked or scared about everything.  We changed them and introduced them to the rest of the family.  My mom bought the kids toys which they ABSOLUTELY loved.  The 4 year old girl is such a little girly girl and my mom got her make up, necklaces and bracelets.  The 3 yr old boy is a TYPICAL boy.  But sooooooo lovable.  They really all were.  The baby was SUCH a good baby.  She loved to smile and laugh and she likes to be carried.  If I held her on my chest she would fall right to sleep. 

Sunday was a quieter day.  We did the whole morning routine, took naps, then went to a park in our neighborhood.  Sunday evening was the best.  It was full of hugs and kisses and laying on the couches watching movies....and that's when the 4 yr old told me she wanted to stay with me forever.  It took everything I had to not cry right there at that moment.  I knew I had to stay strong.  But from that moment on, I have been a little emotional. 

I tried very hard to not let them in.  I was just trying to be a good babysitter but also teaching them some rules and guidelines.  But at the end.....I just couldn't help it. 

Monday morning I woke up, got them all dressed for school, we loaded them in to the car and put a movie on for them for their drive.  That was the last time I saw them.  I thought they would bring the kids over later that day after they were picked up because they already had to come back to my house to pick up their bags.  But they didn't bring the kids.  And I obviously understand why they didn't.....but the whole day I kept telling myself I would see them again that evening.  The foster parent told me that the kids were crying and crying from the point he picked them up from day care so he didn't think it was a good idea to bring them over because then that cycle would start all over again.  I DO UNDERSTAND......but it doesn't take away from it hurting. 

Not that it's getting easier....but it's becoming bearable.  I did cry once yesterday evening when I walked in to the spare bedroom (their bedroom) to get a blanket.  I hadn't realized I hadn't been in there.  Or maybe I was avoiding that room.  I think I could smell them in there! :-|.  And I instantly thought to myself....."oh no....I'm not going to be one of those people that can't go in to THE room, am I?". 

Right now this moment....I don't know if I would do respite care again.  I mean....is this the way I'm going to feel every time I meet different children?  And if I do feel that way.....am I betraying the 1st 3 I looked after?  I at least have comfort in knowing that I can truly love these children as if they came from my tummy.  I knew I would and I would say I would, but it was always a fear or question in my head.  What I felt for those children was MUCH different than anything I have felt before.  It was so much MORE.  I have often wondered if I'm ready for kids....and now I know I am.

Met the children...

We had a meet and greet with the 3 children we are doing respite care for.  What was I thinking when I agreed to take care of 3 children all at the same time?!?!?!?  The 2 year old and 4 yr old have SO MUCH energy.  Their favorite word is "NO" and "WHY".  Well isn't that lovely? ;)  They are all super adorable though.  The 4 yr old is such a diva princess and I kinda love it.  The 2 yr old seems very observant of his surroundings.  But they weren't shy at all.

So far....I think this weekend is going to do exactly what I wanted it to do for me.  It's going to allow me to experience being responsible for children more than one night and it's going to make me SERIOUSLY think about what ages I am considering.

Well I survived the first few hours with them.  Let's see what tomorrow brings us.

Changing our license

During our last quartely visit which was in February, we requested a change to our license to include Legal Risk adoption.  On Tuesday March 1st we heard back from our caseworker and were told that we were approved for the change!  FINALLY something is going our way :).  We were then told by our CW that she would need to come do another home visit and we scheduled her in for the 8th.  She answered all of our questions and reminded us that Legal Risk is kind of like fostering so we would need to EACH keep up with 20 hours of educational classes.  She also mentioned that "regular" couples do not have to EACH take 20 hours, they can combine their hours.  Well....isn't that just lovely?

Onwards and upwards!  Must stay on a positive path!  So we got through the visit and everything went perfectly of course ;) and we already have a class crossed off our list.  Only 16 more hours to go....EACH.  OH! I also found out that if we need a babysitter we would need our "future babysitters" to be cpr certified and have a background check done on them.  So I've been sending out background forms to future aunts, uncles and grandparents galore! 

We received a broadcast today on a one year old baby.  We decided to send his caseworker our homestudy.....and I am just now realizing we haven't sent in our homestudy for any children in a while. 

This weekend we are taking care of 3 children for 3 nights, Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.  FUN TIMES!  We are really excited to be able to spend time with these kiddos and show them a fun fun fun time!  We are supposed to have play dates with my sis n laws and their kids.  I hope to tire them out so that they can fall in to a deep slumber during the night hours ---> so that I can get some rest. 

Hopefully I'll get our new license emailed to me soon so that we can see if we see a difference in broadcasts.  I've started to feel an overwhelming nesting feeling.  I even worked on my lawn, which is unheard of.  A little blood sweat and tears never hurt anyone.....right?

Heard a response from an inquiry....

Our last adoption match meeting was cancelled due to weather but it's rescheduled to next Saturday 2/19.  We are still very excited to experience it and to see all these little children have a great
time with the activities they have planned for them.

We inquired on an 8 year old and did receive some promising feedback.  I've kept my eye on him since last November.   I've asked the caseworker a few more questions that I'd like more info
on.....hopefully we'll hear back today.  He has 5 other siblings that were all adopted and he would like to stay in contact with those siblings.  I really have no problem with this at all, as long as they were adopted to non bio family members.  1.  because they were taken away from the family for some reason or another.  and 2.  He is the only one that hasn't been adopted out of that group and I just find that very sad. 

In other news....I have 8 weeks left to lose as much weight as I can before this weight loss competition ends!  I think I found my mojo back.  I have been SO lazy the last 2 weeks and I really need to
get on the ball.  I know this is the best time to really take advantage of my time without kids because hopefully.....soon enough....I will have my kids :)

FEBRUARY 2, 2011

Marketing Letter Complete!

That is what I will call it from now on....a marketing letter.  Basically that's what it is since we are handing this over to the child's caseworker.  It's actually very hard to talk about yourself and do a page long profile on you, your partner, your life and family.  But now that I have the finished product...I absolutely love it! :)  It's another keepsake I can save so that I can later look back and see how crazy life was when we were trying to find our future children. 

I have been avoiding the diet subject....well because....I have been failing miserably.  We are on week 5 of our 12 week competition and I have lost maybe....8 pounds.  That is pretty good if you are in REAL life...but in a competition, where there are some hard core competitors, that is just not going to cut it.  I have said for several weeks now that I would really take it seriously the last 6 weeks and we'll see what I can accomplish then.  This is still my goal, but I am going to passively try next week.  I was going to start today, but then, well I'm hungry!  I need some will power...I used to have it.  But I don't know where it went.  :-|

FEBRUARY 1, 2011

Inquiring on Children

We have inquired on several different children within the past 2 weeks.  It pretty much takes about 30-45 days to hear back on each inquiry.  One of the inquiries is a sibling group, girl and boy ages 3 and 5.  The other inquiry is of 1 child, boy age 5 and the other is a 1 child, boy age 2.  We are in high spirits and excited just to see what's to come.  I know if these inquiries fall through, we will be disappointed, but I also know that my love and I can get through anything.  :)

JANUARY 27, 2011

Adoption Match Meeting

We attended our first adoption match meeting last Friday evening January 21st.  We entered a room and it had 10 - 12 large round tables that each sat about 8 people.  I think there were around 40 - 50 that were hoping to adopt.  The caseworkers put ONE binder in the middle of each table.  The binder was a simple black 3 hole binder that had maybe 20 sheets that were each protected in their own plastic covering.  On one side of the sheet was multiple pictures of the child / sibling group and on the other were likes and dislikes of each child.

I had never seen these children on the websites I was instructed to search children for, so that was refreshing.  But a lot of the binders were duplicates of other binders.  We found one child we were interested in and have sent in our homestudy.  Let's call him "A" and he is 5 years old :).  We decided to inquire with his caseworker, who was there, and we were at a table with another couple and a single guy who were all inquiring on the same child.  So we decided to have kind of....an open forum.  The caseworker asked us to ask questions and she would answer anything.  Some questions I asked were:

1.  How old was he when he was removed from the home
2.  How many different homes has he been in
3.  Does he have any siblings
4.  Is he taking any medications
5.  Does he have contact with these siblings
6.  Does he have any special needs and/or therapy

I was a little bit more....okay A LOT more prepared than the other interested parties.  And I think it's because we have inquired on at least 5-8 different children / sibling groups.  So when we inquire and the child's caseworker decides we may be a possible match, they then send a VERY detailed description of the child's needs and history.  Every time one of those inquiries didn't work out...I got more and more bummed.  But as I'm writing.....if I had not been through those experiences....I would have not known what to ask and what I should be asking in the future.  Hmm :)

 So we shall see if we will get additional information.  <-- I'll make sure to follow up on A.

All in all....I think it was a great experience.  We met some really nice couples that we hope to keep in touch with.  It's nice to talk to family and friends about our experiences....BUT.....they will NEVER truly understand what this feels like.  So it's nice to connect with others that are in your same position.

We have our next match meeting next Saturday, but at this one there will be 100+ children who are ages 8 and older.

At this point...I am only considering children from match meetings and broadcasts that my caseworker sends me.  I used to search on line EVERY. DAY.  but that just gets too overwhelming.  PLUS there are a lot of older children online and we are only licensed for children up to 8 years old

P.S. - I started on my diet this morning...by lunch I gave up.  I WILL start on Monday....promise! LOL

JANUARY 26, 2011

8 Months Later.....

It's been 8 months since I last posted....for a couple of reasons. 1, life happens. 2, having to blog was a constant reminder that NOTHING was happening. But I think I am now in a better place emotionally to be able to discuss everything we have been through.


My last post in May was about FINALLY receiving the long awaited letter from CPS notifying me of what documents we were missing and I said that the only thing we were waiting on was the FBI background check to come back. Well....THAT took FOREVER! CPS had entered in my brothers social wrong in to their system so when they got the background back it didn't match what they had in the system. I was happy that my brother had the common sense to notice his social was wrong when he went to go get his BG check so AT LEAST he didn't have to do it again. Anyway....it finally got all figured out around July or August.

Once that fiasco was solved we got scheduled for our homestudy. We had our homestudy in August on a Saturday. It lasted 4 HOURS. At the time, I wondered if I should prepare food because I had heard that they last 2-3 hours. So in the end I decided to buy a platter of sandwiches just in case. Either way - we would eat them :). LOL. It turned out that our homestudy contractor lives in our neighborhood - so I now must behave outside of my home in case she ever passes by ;). She was VERY nice and did not make me, my partner or my brother feel uncomfortable at all. I was very relieved about that. There were A LOT of questions asked, some were repetitive but always very detailed. She first interviewed us all together, and then interviewed us one on one, and then we got all together again for final notes and questions.

The homestudy contractor has 30 days to submit the homestudy back to CPS. Which if I'm correct it was right at 30 days when we heard back. We got an email from the supervisor at CPS introducing our new adoption caseworker to us - via email (she copied our newly appointed caseworker). My caseworker then made an appointment to come to my home so that she could inspect the home (FOR THE GAZILLIONTH TIME) and then she presented us with our adoption license. We are licensed for up to 2 children, ages infant to 8 years old. We got licensed the 3rd week of September. :)

Since September.....not much has happened. We have inquired on a few children, but have not been chosen by their caseworkers or we decided their needs were greater than we could handle. It was the end of the year so CPS wasn't having many meetings or functions if at all. Around holiday time I was pretty down because in MY HEAD, I felt like I had started the process since December of 2008 which is when we went to our first introductory class. So I felt like it's been a year since we started. But in CPS's eyes, we BARELY got licensed in September. Blah to that I say! LOL.

When you think of the big picture, it really did not take long for us to get licensed. We started the PRIDE classes in March and we were licensed in September of the same year. I'm not saying this is ideal for everyone, but I'm a bit inpatient so I made sure to complete everything before our PRIDE classes were done.

Now that it's the new year....there have been more broadcasts that our caseworker has presented us, and we are getting invited to events that are happening through out the year. In fact...we participated in our first match meeting last Friday 01/21/2011. I will blog about that experience in the next post.

MAY 7, 2010

Got the Letter!

We received the letter first by email on Tuesday 5/4 then by certified mail on Thursday 5/6. I just had a few minor items missing which I turned in on Thursday morning. One thing I think is important to bring up in case anyone out there takes a CPR class for adoption is that you need to make sure you that CPR cards or a certificate letter says that you were certified in Adult, Child and Infant CPR. Ours didn't say that, but thank God we had the instructor's contact info and she was nice enough to email me the very same night I requested the additional documents from her.

Now....all we are waiting on is background check results and then we get our appointment for our home study!! We are VERY excited.

In other news.....a couple of months ago, when we first started our PRIDE classes, I asked if it would be possible for the children I adopt to have my partner's last name instead of mine. It was always our plan to have our children have her name. I've never really been attached to my name and I know my relationship with my partners is the real deal (been together for 10 years). The caseworkers response was that it would be easier to change MY name legally so that my home study could be completed under my new name.

Soooooo, I looked for an attorney and was a wee bit nervous because of my "situation". I didn't want to be feeling uncomfortable in front of a big and powerful lawyer. Basically I didn't want to feel judged. Usually I am the care free type....well I ALWAYS am the care free type but I really do have some insecurities sometimes. When I met the attorney.....we was SUPAH nice!! He was totally understanding and "disgusted" <--(his words) that I had to go through the courts to change my last name and PAY $854 for attorneys fees, court fees and finger prints. YEAH. that's right. $854. Yeah he coulda been "selling" me....but who cares! It worked! LOL. I then filled out and signed a couple of papers, paid my fee and that was that.

Then on Monday 5/3....hmmmm A.D.D. kicking in.....(coincidence? I think not!) It also happened to be my 8 years and 1 month anniversary with my love! anywhooo, On Monday, I received an email from my attorneys legal secretary stating that my court date was next week. It was totally unexpected....well because I kinda forgot! LOL. At first I was freaking out because I am ACTUALLY changing my name. Like WOW. It's not that I don't want to do it....I just never thought my name would change. EVER. After a week to digest all of this information I'm feeling VERY excited!! This is really HUGE for my partner and I. It's our own little way to solidify our commitment with each other the best way we can in Texas. This is exciting!!!

Should we celebrate after? Should I wear a dress?

APRIL 29, 2010

Pre-email Letter/email

YAYYYYYY! I just received an email saying that our caseworker has finished reviewing our files and she is now working on personal letters that will highlight items missing from our file (if any). She also mentions that she will be mailing it via USPS AND emailing it....which I love!!! I know we will have to wait for our background checks to come in, in order to make our homestudy appointment, but I just want to know if all my required documentation/homework has been turned in. I mean....I KNOW it has....but ya know, I always second guess myself. WE SHALL SEEEEE! :)

APRIL 28, 2010

Still waiting...

I know I just posted BUT my nerves just need this little letter to arrive in the mail that will detail what still needs to be completed or missing. Are the reference forms all turned in? Are the background checks back? questions, questions, questions!!

APRIL 22, 2010

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting.....

We've completed our 6 week parenting course - which is usually 12 weeks long. But we decided to choose every single Saturday between the hours of 9am and 5pm.

We are now CPR certified, First Aid certified, we have smoke detectors in every room, hallway and kitchen. Speaking of home detectors! They all had to be "interconnected" detectors which means they were a little over 40 bucks a pop. it turned out that we didn't need to get a fire marshall out to our house since we chose straight adoption, instead of foster to adopt. So that saved us about $150.

sidenote: We chose to do straight adoption because during our class there were a lot of exercises that would show us how fostering would be. The exercises would teach us to fully invest ourselves in the foster child....then our caseworkers would explain how circumstances would change and the foster children either had to leave back to their parents or to another foster home or they got adopted. I could BARELY handle my emotions while they were describing these ordeals in words. Can you imagine ME living through it. NO WAY. I wish I could becaues I know there are a lot of foster childeren who need homes.....but I just can't.

We had a caseworker come out to our home to "pre-inspect". It went well. Other than my 5 pound chihuahua trying to naw at our caseworkers ankles....everything was just PERFECT! LOL.

We've done our FBI fingerprints and we are awaiting the results.....now.....all we do is WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. I should be getting a letter soon in the mail that will give me a list of items that I need to turn in. To MY knowledge I have everything turned in.....but ya never know. CPS says that they are known to "lose" documents.

OH! we also had to make a LIFEBOOK. Basically a book that has pictures of yourself and your family, things to do around your home, vacation pics, etc. I will post pics this weekend. Making the lifebook was quite fun.

Most uncomfortable experience:
Speaking about children who were sexually abused. We talked about their backgrounds, who sexually abused them. There were a lot of opinions going around the room whether who was wrong and who was right. There was anger towards the mothers that did nothing for their hurt children. But we survived....thankfully.

Most memorable experience:
Overall just bonding with the other soon to be foster/adoptive parents. During our last class we had a pot luck while the panel of CPS experts answered our questions. When it was done....we all went our seperate ways. Then a week later, there was a "psychotropic medications" class that we were required to take. It was only a 2 1/2 hour class. They schedule this class several times a month or so. We chose to go that following week so that we could get it out of the way. When we arrived to the class....we saw a few of our old "classmates". We all instantly wanted to sit next to eachother and discuss our frustrations and progress with the paperwork, homework, certifications, etc. It was then....that I realized....we will FOREVER be bonded with these people. Maybe some more than others, but all in all...we are bonded.

It is nice to know that there are other people going through the same thing we are going through so that we can give eachother support when we are at our wits end.

MARCH 8, 2010

The first days....

My partner and I are starting the process of adoption and I am very curious to ALWAYS know whats next....

So I google EVERYTHING. But I couldn't find anything online that gave me the step by step experiences. How long does the process take? When do you get licensed? What are the costs?

We have had so many questions and I thought I should do a blog so that I can help the next person/couple that is interested in adopting.

We are going through CPS and the first thing you need to do is go to a free informational meeting. They last about an hour. They explain the process to you and they will tell you that you will need to take a 6 week PRIDE course (Saturdays) or 11 week course (evenings) in order to get licensed. They also STRONGLY encourage Foster to adopt, but we chose to adopt only. <--I don't think my heart could take a separation.

We went to our informational meeting in December of 2009 and we just participated in our first PRIDE class on 3/6/2010. The classes start at 9am and don't end until 4 or 5pm.

Now...just like in any class....the first thing they did was ask everyone to introduce themselves and explain what their motivation to adopt is. I personally would have liked for them to do this later in the class, once everyone is more comfortable with each other.

So we watch videos, talk about what these children have been through, we had interactive activities and we were able to ask questions.

After my day, I am thinking that this is going to be a very quick process. We have a lot to do to our house (minor, but a lot none the less), we have to take CPR classes, get TB tested, install carbon monoxide alarms and a few other things. All of this information was in a GINORMOUS binder that they gave each family. Did I mention we have homework?

Tasks aside....I am feeling overwhelmed. Not in a bad way...I just never thought this would actually happen. I've gotten so used to not being able to have or do things that "normal" people get to do. I kinda really accepted that my life would just be different. And now with the adoption and me choosing to change my last name...its all....VERY REAL.

I'm excited and I think the next couple of months are going to be the slowest AND the fastest months ever! ;)

RECAP of the last year

I used to blog under my real name, but I decided I would like to stay anonymous so I started a whole new blog and I hope my followers come with me.  I am going to post several updates today so that my original writing and thoughts are remembered.