Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Heard a response from an inquiry....

Our last adoption match meeting was cancelled due to weather but it's rescheduled to next Saturday 2/19.  We are still very excited to experience it and to see all these little children have a great
time with the activities they have planned for them.

We inquired on an 8 year old and did receive some promising feedback.  I've kept my eye on him since last November.   I've asked the caseworker a few more questions that I'd like more info
on.....hopefully we'll hear back today.  He has 5 other siblings that were all adopted and he would like to stay in contact with those siblings.  I really have no problem with this at all, as long as they were adopted to non bio family members.  1.  because they were taken away from the family for some reason or another.  and 2.  He is the only one that hasn't been adopted out of that group and I just find that very sad. 

In other news....I have 8 weeks left to lose as much weight as I can before this weight loss competition ends!  I think I found my mojo back.  I have been SO lazy the last 2 weeks and I really need to
get on the ball.  I know this is the best time to really take advantage of my time without kids because hopefully.....soon enough....I will have my kids :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

FEBRUARY 2, 2011

Marketing Letter Complete!

That is what I will call it from now on....a marketing letter.  Basically that's what it is since we are handing this over to the child's caseworker.  It's actually very hard to talk about yourself and do a page long profile on you, your partner, your life and family.  But now that I have the finished product...I absolutely love it! :)  It's another keepsake I can save so that I can later look back and see how crazy life was when we were trying to find our future children. 

I have been avoiding the diet subject....well because....I have been failing miserably.  We are on week 5 of our 12 week competition and I have lost maybe....8 pounds.  That is pretty good if you are in REAL life...but in a competition, where there are some hard core competitors, that is just not going to cut it.  I have said for several weeks now that I would really take it seriously the last 6 weeks and we'll see what I can accomplish then.  This is still my goal, but I am going to passively try next week.  I was going to start today, but then, well I'm hungry!  I need some will power...I used to have it.  But I don't know where it went.  :-|

FEBRUARY 1, 2011

Inquiring on Children

We have inquired on several different children within the past 2 weeks.  It pretty much takes about 30-45 days to hear back on each inquiry.  One of the inquiries is a sibling group, girl and boy ages 3 and 5.  The other inquiry is of 1 child, boy age 5 and the other is a 1 child, boy age 2.  We are in high spirits and excited just to see what's to come.  I know if these inquiries fall through, we will be disappointed, but I also know that my love and I can get through anything.  :)

JANUARY 27, 2011

Adoption Match Meeting

We attended our first adoption match meeting last Friday evening January 21st.  We entered a room and it had 10 - 12 large round tables that each sat about 8 people.  I think there were around 40 - 50 that were hoping to adopt.  The caseworkers put ONE binder in the middle of each table.  The binder was a simple black 3 hole binder that had maybe 20 sheets that were each protected in their own plastic covering.  On one side of the sheet was multiple pictures of the child / sibling group and on the other were likes and dislikes of each child.

I had never seen these children on the websites I was instructed to search children for, so that was refreshing.  But a lot of the binders were duplicates of other binders.  We found one child we were interested in and have sent in our homestudy.  Let's call him "A" and he is 5 years old :).  We decided to inquire with his caseworker, who was there, and we were at a table with another couple and a single guy who were all inquiring on the same child.  So we decided to have kind of....an open forum.  The caseworker asked us to ask questions and she would answer anything.  Some questions I asked were:

1.  How old was he when he was removed from the home
2.  How many different homes has he been in
3.  Does he have any siblings
4.  Is he taking any medications
5.  Does he have contact with these siblings
6.  Does he have any special needs and/or therapy

I was a little bit more....okay A LOT more prepared than the other interested parties.  And I think it's because we have inquired on at least 5-8 different children / sibling groups.  So when we inquire and the child's caseworker decides we may be a possible match, they then send a VERY detailed description of the child's needs and history.  Every time one of those inquiries didn't work out...I got more and more bummed.  But as I'm writing.....if I had not been through those experiences....I would have not known what to ask and what I should be asking in the future.  Hmm :)

 So we shall see if we will get additional information.  <-- I'll make sure to follow up on A.

All in all....I think it was a great experience.  We met some really nice couples that we hope to keep in touch with.  It's nice to talk to family and friends about our experiences....BUT.....they will NEVER truly understand what this feels like.  So it's nice to connect with others that are in your same position.

We have our next match meeting next Saturday, but at this one there will be 100+ children who are ages 8 and older.

At this point...I am only considering children from match meetings and broadcasts that my caseworker sends me.  I used to search on line EVERY. DAY.  but that just gets too overwhelming.  PLUS there are a lot of older children online and we are only licensed for children up to 8 years old

P.S. - I started on my diet this morning...by lunch I gave up.  I WILL start on Monday....promise! LOL

JANUARY 26, 2011

8 Months Later.....

It's been 8 months since I last posted....for a couple of reasons. 1, life happens. 2, having to blog was a constant reminder that NOTHING was happening. But I think I am now in a better place emotionally to be able to discuss everything we have been through.


My last post in May was about FINALLY receiving the long awaited letter from CPS notifying me of what documents we were missing and I said that the only thing we were waiting on was the FBI background check to come back. Well....THAT took FOREVER! CPS had entered in my brothers social wrong in to their system so when they got the background back it didn't match what they had in the system. I was happy that my brother had the common sense to notice his social was wrong when he went to go get his BG check so AT LEAST he didn't have to do it again. Anyway....it finally got all figured out around July or August.

Once that fiasco was solved we got scheduled for our homestudy. We had our homestudy in August on a Saturday. It lasted 4 HOURS. At the time, I wondered if I should prepare food because I had heard that they last 2-3 hours. So in the end I decided to buy a platter of sandwiches just in case. Either way - we would eat them :). LOL. It turned out that our homestudy contractor lives in our neighborhood - so I now must behave outside of my home in case she ever passes by ;). She was VERY nice and did not make me, my partner or my brother feel uncomfortable at all. I was very relieved about that. There were A LOT of questions asked, some were repetitive but always very detailed. She first interviewed us all together, and then interviewed us one on one, and then we got all together again for final notes and questions.

The homestudy contractor has 30 days to submit the homestudy back to CPS. Which if I'm correct it was right at 30 days when we heard back. We got an email from the supervisor at CPS introducing our new adoption caseworker to us - via email (she copied our newly appointed caseworker). My caseworker then made an appointment to come to my home so that she could inspect the home (FOR THE GAZILLIONTH TIME) and then she presented us with our adoption license. We are licensed for up to 2 children, ages infant to 8 years old. We got licensed the 3rd week of September. :)

Since September.....not much has happened. We have inquired on a few children, but have not been chosen by their caseworkers or we decided their needs were greater than we could handle. It was the end of the year so CPS wasn't having many meetings or functions if at all. Around holiday time I was pretty down because in MY HEAD, I felt like I had started the process since December of 2008 which is when we went to our first introductory class. So I felt like it's been a year since we started. But in CPS's eyes, we BARELY got licensed in September. Blah to that I say! LOL.

When you think of the big picture, it really did not take long for us to get licensed. We started the PRIDE classes in March and we were licensed in September of the same year. I'm not saying this is ideal for everyone, but I'm a bit inpatient so I made sure to complete everything before our PRIDE classes were done.

Now that it's the new year....there have been more broadcasts that our caseworker has presented us, and we are getting invited to events that are happening through out the year. In fact...we participated in our first match meeting last Friday 01/21/2011. I will blog about that experience in the next post.

MAY 7, 2010

Got the Letter!

We received the letter first by email on Tuesday 5/4 then by certified mail on Thursday 5/6. I just had a few minor items missing which I turned in on Thursday morning. One thing I think is important to bring up in case anyone out there takes a CPR class for adoption is that you need to make sure you that CPR cards or a certificate letter says that you were certified in Adult, Child and Infant CPR. Ours didn't say that, but thank God we had the instructor's contact info and she was nice enough to email me the very same night I requested the additional documents from her.

Now....all we are waiting on is background check results and then we get our appointment for our home study!! We are VERY excited.

In other news.....a couple of months ago, when we first started our PRIDE classes, I asked if it would be possible for the children I adopt to have my partner's last name instead of mine. It was always our plan to have our children have her name. I've never really been attached to my name and I know my relationship with my partners is the real deal (been together for 10 years). The caseworkers response was that it would be easier to change MY name legally so that my home study could be completed under my new name.

Soooooo, I looked for an attorney and was a wee bit nervous because of my "situation". I didn't want to be feeling uncomfortable in front of a big and powerful lawyer. Basically I didn't want to feel judged. Usually I am the care free type....well I ALWAYS am the care free type but I really do have some insecurities sometimes. When I met the attorney.....we was SUPAH nice!! He was totally understanding and "disgusted" <--(his words) that I had to go through the courts to change my last name and PAY $854 for attorneys fees, court fees and finger prints. YEAH. that's right. $854. Yeah he coulda been "selling" me....but who cares! It worked! LOL. I then filled out and signed a couple of papers, paid my fee and that was that.

Then on Monday 5/3....hmmmm A.D.D. kicking in.....(coincidence? I think not!) It also happened to be my 8 years and 1 month anniversary with my love! anywhooo, On Monday, I received an email from my attorneys legal secretary stating that my court date was next week. It was totally unexpected....well because I kinda forgot! LOL. At first I was freaking out because I am ACTUALLY changing my name. Like WOW. It's not that I don't want to do it....I just never thought my name would change. EVER. After a week to digest all of this information I'm feeling VERY excited!! This is really HUGE for my partner and I. It's our own little way to solidify our commitment with each other the best way we can in Texas. This is exciting!!!

Should we celebrate after? Should I wear a dress?

APRIL 29, 2010

Pre-email Letter/email

YAYYYYYY! I just received an email saying that our caseworker has finished reviewing our files and she is now working on personal letters that will highlight items missing from our file (if any). She also mentions that she will be mailing it via USPS AND emailing it....which I love!!! I know we will have to wait for our background checks to come in, in order to make our homestudy appointment, but I just want to know if all my required documentation/homework has been turned in. I mean....I KNOW it has....but ya know, I always second guess myself. WE SHALL SEEEEE! :)

APRIL 28, 2010

Still waiting...

I know I just posted BUT my nerves just need this little letter to arrive in the mail that will detail what still needs to be completed or missing. Are the reference forms all turned in? Are the background checks back? questions, questions, questions!!

APRIL 22, 2010

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting.....

We've completed our 6 week parenting course - which is usually 12 weeks long. But we decided to choose every single Saturday between the hours of 9am and 5pm.

We are now CPR certified, First Aid certified, we have smoke detectors in every room, hallway and kitchen. Speaking of home detectors! They all had to be "interconnected" detectors which means they were a little over 40 bucks a pop. it turned out that we didn't need to get a fire marshall out to our house since we chose straight adoption, instead of foster to adopt. So that saved us about $150.

sidenote: We chose to do straight adoption because during our class there were a lot of exercises that would show us how fostering would be. The exercises would teach us to fully invest ourselves in the foster child....then our caseworkers would explain how circumstances would change and the foster children either had to leave back to their parents or to another foster home or they got adopted. I could BARELY handle my emotions while they were describing these ordeals in words. Can you imagine ME living through it. NO WAY. I wish I could becaues I know there are a lot of foster childeren who need homes.....but I just can't.

We had a caseworker come out to our home to "pre-inspect". It went well. Other than my 5 pound chihuahua trying to naw at our caseworkers ankles....everything was just PERFECT! LOL.

We've done our FBI fingerprints and we are awaiting the results.....now.....all we do is WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. I should be getting a letter soon in the mail that will give me a list of items that I need to turn in. To MY knowledge I have everything turned in.....but ya never know. CPS says that they are known to "lose" documents.

OH! we also had to make a LIFEBOOK. Basically a book that has pictures of yourself and your family, things to do around your home, vacation pics, etc. I will post pics this weekend. Making the lifebook was quite fun.

Most uncomfortable experience:
Speaking about children who were sexually abused. We talked about their backgrounds, who sexually abused them. There were a lot of opinions going around the room whether who was wrong and who was right. There was anger towards the mothers that did nothing for their hurt children. But we survived....thankfully.

Most memorable experience:
Overall just bonding with the other soon to be foster/adoptive parents. During our last class we had a pot luck while the panel of CPS experts answered our questions. When it was done....we all went our seperate ways. Then a week later, there was a "psychotropic medications" class that we were required to take. It was only a 2 1/2 hour class. They schedule this class several times a month or so. We chose to go that following week so that we could get it out of the way. When we arrived to the class....we saw a few of our old "classmates". We all instantly wanted to sit next to eachother and discuss our frustrations and progress with the paperwork, homework, certifications, etc. It was then....that I realized....we will FOREVER be bonded with these people. Maybe some more than others, but all in all...we are bonded.

It is nice to know that there are other people going through the same thing we are going through so that we can give eachother support when we are at our wits end.

MARCH 8, 2010

The first days....

My partner and I are starting the process of adoption and I am very curious to ALWAYS know whats next....

So I google EVERYTHING. But I couldn't find anything online that gave me the step by step experiences. How long does the process take? When do you get licensed? What are the costs?

We have had so many questions and I thought I should do a blog so that I can help the next person/couple that is interested in adopting.

We are going through CPS and the first thing you need to do is go to a free informational meeting. They last about an hour. They explain the process to you and they will tell you that you will need to take a 6 week PRIDE course (Saturdays) or 11 week course (evenings) in order to get licensed. They also STRONGLY encourage Foster to adopt, but we chose to adopt only. <--I don't think my heart could take a separation.

We went to our informational meeting in December of 2009 and we just participated in our first PRIDE class on 3/6/2010. The classes start at 9am and don't end until 4 or 5pm.

Now...just like in any class....the first thing they did was ask everyone to introduce themselves and explain what their motivation to adopt is. I personally would have liked for them to do this later in the class, once everyone is more comfortable with each other.

So we watch videos, talk about what these children have been through, we had interactive activities and we were able to ask questions.

After my day, I am thinking that this is going to be a very quick process. We have a lot to do to our house (minor, but a lot none the less), we have to take CPR classes, get TB tested, install carbon monoxide alarms and a few other things. All of this information was in a GINORMOUS binder that they gave each family. Did I mention we have homework?

Tasks aside....I am feeling overwhelmed. Not in a bad way...I just never thought this would actually happen. I've gotten so used to not being able to have or do things that "normal" people get to do. I kinda really accepted that my life would just be different. And now with the adoption and me choosing to change my last name...its all....VERY REAL.

I'm excited and I think the next couple of months are going to be the slowest AND the fastest months ever! ;)

RECAP of the last year

I used to blog under my real name, but I decided I would like to stay anonymous so I started a whole new blog and I hope my followers come with me.  I am going to post several updates today so that my original writing and thoughts are remembered.