Kiki

We got a call from Depelchin about a 7 month old baby girl emergency placement on Friday February 3rd around 4pm-ish and asked me if we wanted our file sent. Of course, we said yes.  About 40 minutes later, they called us back to say that we were approved and that placement would take place the following Monday February 6th.  That weekend was a blur. In a way, we wanted it to last forever but we also wanted it to go by quickly so that Monday would get here sooner. Monday finally did come and we were so anxious to get the call from Kiki's caseworker so that she could notify us on what time we would be able to meet her.  I finally got the call around 11am and they told me they would drop her off around 3pm. We left work early and anxiously waited her arrival. By 5pm, she still wasn't with us. That's when we got a call from the worker stating that they couldn't find the woman who was caring for Kiki, but that they would keep trying.  I tried to keep it together and at the point I felt a breakdown coming on, I got another call saying they were on their way.
We met Kiki at 7:45 that night. She was quietly waiting in her car seat as we talked to the worker. Not one peep out of her. When the worker left, we took her out of the car seat and did some baby talk and instantly Kiki smiled.
Since Monday our lives have felt kind of chaotic but we haven't complained. We know it's just these first few weeks we'll feel out of place until we have a routine going. Every day we fall in love with Kiki more and more. Every time she smiles our hearts melt for her!  I think we may be spoiling her because she is getting to a point where she wants to be held all of the time. Oh well :)
Yesterday we celebrated her 7 month birthday; cupcakes and all!
Tomorrow it will be a week that we have her. I still can't believe we have her in our home.  As much as we want to protect our hearts from heartache, there is just no way NOT to give Kiki our all. She deserves all of our love <3.

And right now....I deserve a nap! :-D

File Active

I received a phone call today and when the girl on the other end of the line said, "Hi I'm calling from Depelchin", I knew they were calling me to say that our file was active in their system (finally). Not only did they tell us our file was active, they told me about an emergency placement for a 14 month old boy. We were cautiously optimistic and about 2 hours later they called back stating no one from the agency was picked.  Bright side? We got our first foster call! I had a mix of emotions....I didn't know if I would be hesitant when we were finally called about a foster placement because I do tend to get emotionally attached. The outcome was just the opposite.  I was calm, not overly excited and very aware that this could be JUST a foster placement. I've said it before and I'll say it again....I am exactly in the stage of the process that I'm supposed to be in. I would have never been able to be that calm if I had gotten that same call 2 years ago. Now that we are "active in the system", I hope to be less stressed out about the little things. I just wanted to get to THIS point so that I can finally start getting those phone calls of my potential future children. When we first started the process I was a bit saddened about the possibility of not birthing my own children.  All I knew was that I was meant to be a person that would take care of little ones. BUT NOW....I never knew I would be at the point where I have absolutely NO NEED for that. I love that we are fostering and adopting. I love that we are going to potentially change someones life for the better. Not only will their lives be changed, mine will continue to change for the better as well.

Patience is a virtue....my a$$

So today is a rather frustrating day. Last week I was told our file would be sent to licensing then today I get an email stating that the form they gave us for the fire imspection was incorrect. After many phone calls and emails, the inspector will be transferring our inspection details to the new form and I should be receiving it soon. Long story long.....We have yet to be assigned a caseworker. We were supposed to be licensed in EARLY December. Once we get a caseworker we'll still have to wait to schedule a meeting with him or her and THEN we can start looking. Rant over for now......

Approved

We got a call on Tuesday 1/3 that our homestudy was approved :). Now we are just waiting for a caseworker to be assigned. Mood: Optimistic

Long over due update

In September we decided it would be best for us to change agencies so....we did. Our case was closed with our old agency on 9/20 and then we quickly started the process to get re-licensed. We completed a few agency specific classes, did our FBI finger prints again and filled out the paperwork. The bright side was that we didn't have to do PRIDE again :).

We had our first home study visit on 11/8, our second HS visit on 11/10 and hopefully our final one will be this Friday 11/18.

 The total hours spent with the contractor so far is 5.5 hours....but thankfully she has made us feel SO comfortable to talk to. We have had the BEST experience with this agency so far so regardless the outcome, we know we made the right decision.

The big differences between before and now is that we have a lot more standards to follow since we are getting licensed to Foster to Adopt but the advantage to that is that we will have many more opportunities coming our way.

On another note...I was recommended a book by a friend entitled "The Kid" by Dan Savage. I've read the reviews and it sounds like something I'd become obsessed about!  I must put this on my "books to read" list!

Rough Week

We attended a match meeting this week......which didn't have not one possible match for us.

It gets kind of frustrating. The whole process is frustrating. I would consider myself a people person and someone who is easy to talk to. But everytime I attend one of these events I feel very guarded. I have no idea why! People always tell me I need to "sell" myself so I stand out so the other caseworkers remember me. I think that is just SUCH a crazy thing to do in this situation. I see other people do it.....and I just can't.

I don't ever think it will get easier and I am okay with that. Okay as in.....I get it. But it doesn't mean it will be any easier. It's an emotional roller coaster. And it won't ever stop being that until our adoption is final.

I LIVE for that day.

Inquiry update: we have been rejected on every inquiry I blogged about. As of right now we have no pending inquiries.

This week I did some email networking and sent a family profile I made to the caseworkers I had contact info on. It's a page long summary with a bunch of pictures of everyone in our immediate family. I did get one response....."you have a beautiful family!".

It was a bandaid to my heart :)

I think this post is different from all my others.  I typically don't try to get in to all the emotional details on the blog but....that's what it's for right????  I just wanna be sad when I wanna be sad.  Be pissed when I wanna be pissed.....and be happy when I can be happy.  Fact is....I'm trying to adopt.  So....I'm allowed to be able to feel different emotions and not feel bad about it.  Right now:  my mood is - going with the flow :).

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Not selected

We weren't selected for the legal risk placement and we also weren't selected for a girl we inquired about last month.

I was looking over old emails and we still have a few inquiries that we have not received updates on.

We're attending our 3rd match meeting on the 31st of this month.

Oh! And we are doing respite care for A and P from July 22nd through the 30th :) - I wish I could just keep them as my own. :-/

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